Monday, November 30, 2009

If life were a bag of sandles

I don't know about anyone else, but it is freaking hard not to play the game of life. I hate it, well not hate, but i definitely feel its constraints. Its all that small talk, mode of thinking, way of talking, what I should be doing. It can be very taxing when you feel like a reclusive Joaquin Phoenix-style crazy man is living inside you. Everyday, I'm letting that little guy down. 

What I really want to talk about, is Joaquin Phoenix. I freaking love the guy. Now what's up with that Letterman interview and this crazy rap career? All the reports are pointing towards mockumentary, but if that is true, you have to admire the guy. Moving above social expectations, outside social norms and shitting all over society. Must be a lot of fun! 

I want to be an actor myself, but one thing that is holding me back is what I have been training myself at for my whole life. Fitting in with everything around me, or more accurately, blending in. On the other hand, self deception and forced emotions, like answering 'good thanks' to 'how are you?' when your dog has just died are definite forms of acting. I have no idea what point I am making. 

Better to leave out the point. Its like a movie about racism or so called 'deep' issues, like Crash, gets called brilliant because it has a modern social message. The test of time tests all art (I don't like using the term 'art' but I having nothing to replace it with as yet) and I have a feeling, Crash will crash softly into the night, forgotten among the countless mediocre films that exist. 

I am saying a good piece of 'art' or creativity goes above issues and social consciousness into the realm of 'ecstatic truth' to quote Werner Herzog, one of the greatest people alive. A truth spans all time and punches truths within a particular society in the face. In the book 'Heart of darkness' there's a line that goes something like this: 'The mind of man is capable of anything-because everything is in it- all the past as well as the future.' Meaning, a human truth is a truth to anyone at any time. Any person has the capacity to be Hitler, the only thing most people lack is the desire. 

Differences in cultures are immaterial. They might clash, but very often they all respond the same way: With violent resistance. I am going to make a big claim here: Pretty much every war ever fought has been for land, regardless of the religious ideals or something like self defence. The agenda within the human mind remains the same.

Actually, I was thinking today about hippies. I mean, people who are against the state. The system is all about money. And it flourishes because everybody needs and wants money. Take a young, enthusiastic arts student at university. Full of anger for the government and compassion for refugees. Has big ideals and wants to change the world. Look at this same person in 15 years. Aging, tired and working a dead end job. The only thing keeping them going is the pay check at the end of the week, so they can buy alcohol and forget how much life sucks. They have forgotten all about the refugees, and as for the government, as long as they have enough money for themselves and their family, who cares.

I think the only people who can live a life, fully devoted to their ideals, wanting to change the world, against capitalism, against the system, are really rich artists. Its a paradox! They can live outside the system by living at the top of it? Bono can very well do a heap of crap for starving people overseas, because he's not worried about next weeks paycheck just so he can pay the bills. its a sad, bad, mad world out there. The revolutions in France and Russia proved that no matter how sincere your ideas are, the human mind will always fuck it up. 

'Let's all be equal.' Says the poor man.
'you're just saying that because you're poor.' Says the rich man.
'But if we're all equal no one will have anything to complain about.' Replies the poor man.
'10 bucks says they'll find something to complain about.' Says the rich man. 'Oh wait, i forgot. You live under a bridge and you ate insects for breakfast. Better cancel the bet.
A wise Chinese man appears. 'Happiness can only exist if a person understands what it is to be sad. 

People aren't machines, there are going to be ups and downs. Thats why something like equality seems unnatural, like walking around forcing a smile everyday of your life. The seams will break easily. Back to the story for the witty final line.
'At least we have one thing in common.' Says the rich man to the poor man. 'I want more money and you want more money.'

Chortle chortle. Anyway, did i mention none of this matters? It looks like we're on the verge of an ice age. Global warming didn't mean shit, just like our existence probably doesn't. The Earth is plotting our destruction without our help.

The man in the back corner.

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