Where the Wild Things don't like to go!

Where is the place that the Wild Things don't like to go you ask? My bedroom! Ha! So, as you may have gathered, I saw 'Where the Wild Things Are' and let me tell you, it was pretty wild. I was scared most of the time that these 'Wild Things' would either accidently sit on the child or suddenly claw his face off. It was quite a decent film though. I feel like the children need a change from the condescending Disney movies. The characters were just like real life, big, hairy children. They weren't from Eastern Europe though. Chortle. But the film really dealt with issues that I myself, and I'm sure most people dealt with in their own childhood, perhaps without the Wild Things, or maybe with. Depends how many real friends they had.

So, tonight at dinner, I took a leaf out of Max's book (The little boy in the film). I decided I would eat at the table how I wanted to eat. Find that inner child but instead, ended up in an argument with my dad about being a civilised person.

He was all like, 'It's bad manners.'

I'm like, 'I don't need manners when I'm around my family.'

And he says, 'It's just part of being civilised.'

And I said, 'You know what else is part of being civilised? Coming to Australia and attempting to civilise Aborigines by wiping them out.'

'I don't want to argue about this.' He replies.

'I'm not arguing. I just have a different philosophy to you.' Then mum came in and we both shut up.

It's funny, I don't normally have ridiculous arguments like that. Just in the last week, because I have started a blog, my mind stays in blog mode and everything I see has to be commented on or critiqued. 

'How dare they charge us VMAX prices without offering us another cinema.'

'Why the Hell wouldn't Australia Post make boxes with padding inside? Not everyone mails fragile things in bags.'

'Pandora bracelets are a shameless scam.' (As if no one knew that. Why do i care? I'm not going to ever need to wear one.)

'That man is fat.'

In summary, none of these things are going to have an effect on my life. Its like those people who talk about famous singers or actors. 

'They're not even talented. They don't write their own music. Blah blah blah.'

'Well, you do realise, you don't have to listen them?'

'Look at those paparazzi photos of them. What show offs!'

'Again, no one is asking you to look at them. Are you jealous or something?'

The reason why they are not responding to my comments is because I am saying these things in my head. Maybe one day, these things will exist in real life, and not just in my blog...

The end of yet another chapter in this blogtastic culmination of my thoughts. Until my next adventure, exploring the land of the wild ways of the human person,

Au revoir!

The man making the strange noises coming from the back corner

My Left Foot 2 - My Left Eye

It's actually called 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly." Its a French film. I watched it today. Was pretty good. The photo makes it look like my right eye is open but don't be fooled. I didn't know how to flip it. In the film, it just seemed so apparent how similar it was to 'My Left Foot' the film where Daniel Day Lewis can only move his left foot. However, in Diving Bell, its much more severe. 

The guy can only move his left eye! 'Blink once for yes, twice for no.' How strange that it is also the left side? I'm not going to say the writer copied the other movie because they are both true stories. And both of them are based on autobiographies written by the afflicted men. How, you may ask, does a man who can only use his right eye, who can't even speak, write a novel? Well, its very difficult. A woman sits in front of him, and counts out the alphabet and when she says the right letter, he blinks and she rights it down, every single letter, for a whole novel. It would seriously suck being that guy. I couldn't think of anything worse, ever! Having a vegetable body but a completely functioning mind. In the old days, people would assume that the person was just a vegetable and leave them in darks rooms by themselves or in mental hospitals. The poor person on the inside just suffers with their own thoughts. Its like that guy recently, who was apparently in a coma. For 23 years his mind has been fully aware of everything around him. The doctor diagnosed him wrong.

'Oopsy Daisy! Why didn't you just say something?' Cries the doctor.

'.....' replies the man.

'There he goes again with the silent treatment.'

Anyway, back to the film. It really crushed me, one of those films that gives you hope for the future, and keeps on feeding you until wham! bang, smack! There goes your heart, they just ripped it out completely! Now they're stepping on it. It was a good story though. The main actor in it: Loved him!

He's the villain in Quantum of Solace, the latest Bond film which was complete opposite of what i wanted it to be. This guy though, every time i see him, I think 'Wow! He looks exactly like Roman polanski, straight out of Chinatown.' Really though, if I said to him, 'Hey buddy. molested any minors lately?' he would know exactly what i was talking about. So I went on IMDB, naturally, to confirm my thoughts with people who spend their days posting their little insights on the forums. Its definitely geek central. I wouldn't call them nerds because I don't think they are very clever. I found what I was looking for; several people had brought the subject up. So I was quite pleased. But then, what I found next was really interesting. It turns out, this actor's mother was born in the same village that Roman polanski grew up in! I know right. This really isn't that interesting.

OSAMA BIN-there done that!

Pardon my cleverness with the title. Well, really though, its not clever. Its the kind of thing you do if you don't want to make friends. Nothing worse than a person playing with his words. Now, let's get down to business. Osama. Has been off the radar for quite some time. What's the deal? I heard today that apparently he is hiding in some hills in Pakistan. Must say, sounds much more luxurious than a hole. Saddam planned badly. I'm not into this whole war discussion, 'is it right? Is America just fighting for oil?' I can tell you right now. It's not right, and yes. Knowing that doesn't actually change anything. Contrary to what many argumentative people may think, drilling your views into someone else's face does not only fail to convince them but also fails to accomplish anything, apart from helping you sleep at night. So I hope this keeps you up. Wait just one minute. Here I am, drilling my opinion. Have I become what I've always hated? Is there a point in me asking that? There we go, I've done it now. There is nothing worse than self-conscious writing. For those who have read 'Enduring Love' you will know  what I'm talking about.

Back to the point. War in Iraq/Afghanistan/Oil grab. Why, after so many wars, after televised wars, with such a widespread consensus that war is bad, do we still fight? Without getting political, I am going to approach this from another angle. Story telling just may well be the most important thing to human beings. We think about our own lives in a series of events, much like a story. We tell each other stories everyday, 'Today, this old guy didn't want me to put his groceries in a bag. He pulled them away and yelled "No!" I wasn't trying to be Hitler.' we go to the movies, we read books, we think in terms of plot. What I am trying to say is that story telling is an innate human quality that validates our lives. It gives perspective. Now, war. Let's look at George Bush's options. 

1. No war- Let's say everything goes perfect and he ends his term as President in an unprecedented era of peace. No one will really notice. They'll be complaining about something else. 'Too many homeless on the street.' The year 2109- History class:

The teacher says, 'Today we will be studying the world issues at the start of the 21st century.'

The young male student replies, 'Why? Can't we study a period where something interesting actually happens? Like the Vietnam War or the Australian Nuclear War leading up to its complete annihilation in 2065.'

The name George W. Bush won't even register in that students mind.

2. War! You know the story. That history class in 2109 will have something to talk about and the name George W. Bush will go down in the dictionary, defined as being, 'The most ill-equipped person to be voted into a position of power.' As the USA in this period will be known as, 'The country who voted George W. Bush into power... Twice!' Anyway, that's all immaterial. What's important are the many speeches he made. May they bring laughter to people for many generations to come. The point is he will be remembered. 

It's like your own life. Do you want to get to the end of it and say, 'I led a peaceful existence never fighting or arguing with others'?

 Most people would say no! you want excitement, ' I nearly died 7 times! I went on massive road trips, got drunk, wrestled a guy from Cuba! yeah, that was fun!' You know what I mean? People who live completely static, peaceful existences don't write autobiographies. People like Gene Simmons and Werner Herzog wow us with their crazy stories. Here's my formula:

Life= conflict + resolution.

That's all it is. A series of conflicts followed by many resolutions. The reason why we keep going to war is the same reason why you manage to find some conflict to resolve everyday in your life. girls are very good at it. They can dig up things to complain about from a cold, July morning 3 years ago. I joke. I am just saying this idea is a prerequisite for happiness. Its part of being human. And hey, back to those anti-war hippies. They've found their conflict and they're loving their efforts for resolution. I can't take that away from them. Just as they can't take away my thoughts about them. 

So, pretty much, I'm saying, 'Life is going the way it should be, because that's the way it goes. It doesn't need to be changed but it still needs people to want to change it.' On to my next point. What's the deal with people talking about humans sinning against nature? Sure, we build massive buildings, cut down trees, invent new miracle drugs but aren't we just as much a part of nature as anything else?

We have evolved to the point we have because nature has led us this way. Nature has led us to having the ability to screw with nature. Therefore, this is nature at work. Its not like we have that much of a choice in the matter. Sure, lets not invent something, lets slow the speed of technology, but we have the ability and desire to do it. Then again, we also have the ability and desire to want to stop ourselves from doing it. So, humanity is hypocritical.

Here we are again, the end of another blog. What does the future hold? Death? Life? Climate change is worrying still. Again I come back to it. Copenhagen? Will the world's leaders do anything? I say no, not much anyway. Maybe the subject for another blog. In conclusion, the more technology advances, the more we become aware of our mortality. Does this mean we are just more afraid of the end of the world, or simply, God planned our awareness to coincide with the end of the world? That's cruel.

Adios!

The cynical man in the back corner

If life were a bag of sandles

I don't know about anyone else, but it is freaking hard not to play the game of life. I hate it, well not hate, but i definitely feel its constraints. Its all that small talk, mode of thinking, way of talking, what I should be doing. It can be very taxing when you feel like a reclusive Joaquin Phoenix-style crazy man is living inside you. Everyday, I'm letting that little guy down. 

What I really want to talk about, is Joaquin Phoenix. I freaking love the guy. Now what's up with that Letterman interview and this crazy rap career? All the reports are pointing towards mockumentary, but if that is true, you have to admire the guy. Moving above social expectations, outside social norms and shitting all over society. Must be a lot of fun! 

I want to be an actor myself, but one thing that is holding me back is what I have been training myself at for my whole life. Fitting in with everything around me, or more accurately, blending in. On the other hand, self deception and forced emotions, like answering 'good thanks' to 'how are you?' when your dog has just died are definite forms of acting. I have no idea what point I am making. 

Better to leave out the point. Its like a movie about racism or so called 'deep' issues, like Crash, gets called brilliant because it has a modern social message. The test of time tests all art (I don't like using the term 'art' but I having nothing to replace it with as yet) and I have a feeling, Crash will crash softly into the night, forgotten among the countless mediocre films that exist. 

I am saying a good piece of 'art' or creativity goes above issues and social consciousness into the realm of 'ecstatic truth' to quote Werner Herzog, one of the greatest people alive. A truth spans all time and punches truths within a particular society in the face. In the book 'Heart of darkness' there's a line that goes something like this: 'The mind of man is capable of anything-because everything is in it- all the past as well as the future.' Meaning, a human truth is a truth to anyone at any time. Any person has the capacity to be Hitler, the only thing most people lack is the desire. 

Differences in cultures are immaterial. They might clash, but very often they all respond the same way: With violent resistance. I am going to make a big claim here: Pretty much every war ever fought has been for land, regardless of the religious ideals or something like self defence. The agenda within the human mind remains the same.

Actually, I was thinking today about hippies. I mean, people who are against the state. The system is all about money. And it flourishes because everybody needs and wants money. Take a young, enthusiastic arts student at university. Full of anger for the government and compassion for refugees. Has big ideals and wants to change the world. Look at this same person in 15 years. Aging, tired and working a dead end job. The only thing keeping them going is the pay check at the end of the week, so they can buy alcohol and forget how much life sucks. They have forgotten all about the refugees, and as for the government, as long as they have enough money for themselves and their family, who cares.

I think the only people who can live a life, fully devoted to their ideals, wanting to change the world, against capitalism, against the system, are really rich artists. Its a paradox! They can live outside the system by living at the top of it? Bono can very well do a heap of crap for starving people overseas, because he's not worried about next weeks paycheck just so he can pay the bills. its a sad, bad, mad world out there. The revolutions in France and Russia proved that no matter how sincere your ideas are, the human mind will always fuck it up. 

'Let's all be equal.' Says the poor man.

'you're just saying that because you're poor.' Says the rich man.

'But if we're all equal no one will have anything to complain about.' Replies the poor man.

'10 bucks says they'll find something to complain about.' Says the rich man. 'Oh wait, i forgot. You live under a bridge and you ate insects for breakfast. Better cancel the bet.

A wise Chinese man appears. 'Happiness can only exist if a person understands what it is to be sad. 

People aren't machines, there are going to be ups and downs. Thats why something like equality seems unnatural, like walking around forcing a smile everyday of your life. The seams will break easily. Back to the story for the witty final line.

'At least we have one thing in common.' Says the rich man to the poor man. 'I want more money and you want more money.'

Chortle chortle. Anyway, did i mention none of this matters? It looks like we're on the verge of an ice age. Global warming didn't mean shit, just like our existence probably doesn't. The Earth is plotting our destruction without our help.

Ciao!

The man in the back corner.

My first post

I have no idea how many times I have started something like this and finished it at the same time. i could be doing that right now! I don't have much to say right now, its all a bit overwhelming. In the hastiness of wanting to post a blog I have little material. I feel like an inexperienced standup comedian or David Lettermen if they stopped writing his jokes for him. Thank you, I'll hopefully be back